My Rearview Mirror!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005 at 05:58PM Tonite when the bell strikes 12 times, the curtains will come down on the first quarter of my life!
As I turn 26, I’m ready to turn my life in any direction I feel like. Though my friends have been getting kicks outa teasing me since I am officially getting old, the number 26 doesn’t freak me out in the least bit (ref: I dint deal with 22 well at all and am slightly scared the freaking out may be a leap year thing I do!) So, I’m gonna be 26, look 23, act 18, talk like I’m 15 and think like a 7 year-old. Doesn’t get funner than that! The truth is I am actually pumped up to be 26. For all you music junkies, as far as I know, Eddie Vedder formed Pearl Jam when he was 26 and given that this last year has been all about music for me maybe the time has come!
Now the only freaky thing about 26 is that when I was looking back at 0-25, I realized the next look back may well be 26-50!!! (what do people have to get done before 50??? Everything??????)
Well, even though thanksgiving was last month, and I really dint give any thanks then (ref: its hard to be grateful when you have stuffed yourself rotten, and the only thought on your mind is: “Should I unbuckle my belt, undo the button, and unzip half way or would that be rude?”).
So turkey aftermath:
When I opened my eyes: I don’t remember when I first opened my eyes, but I’m sure whenever it happened I saw the two most awesome people in the world. Miku, and Dada! Folks, who while performing the daunting task of parenting, never ceased to be my best friends even for a second. Hats off to the two people who managed to keep a kid who wanted to break himself and everything around him in one piece, a teenager who had the potential of dropping out of high school, to get a Master’s in Electrical Engineering, and a guy who while leaving home at the age of 18 thought that he’d never miss home, count every minute of every hour till he gets to go home just to see them (17th Jan, 2006). If I would try to talk about each of them in one line: Dada is the most dedicated and honest human being I have ever met in my life, born with more will power than I have ever seen anyone possess, saved at least a million people as a surgeon, literally worshipped by his patients, and yet, the funniest dude ever with whom I can discuss anything. Miku, on the other hand is the most normal person I have ever known, more caring than anyone I know, more talented than anyone I know but devoted her entire life to making me and I owe almost everything I am to her (plus I have mommy’s pretty eyes).
Who opened my eyes: Friends walk into our lives at different times, and the different times they enter the scene immensely affects the role they play. My friends from high school and me back in the day helped each other get through the tough time of being a teenager, fights with authority, arguments with parents, falling for girls, and it was more of a fun relation, but after several years when friendship stood the test of time, they now represent the stability in my life and the fact that even though everything is fleeting, friends stay back even when the party is over. Back in undergrad, a bunch of friends, we found out and tested the limits of how much fun a group of 18 years olds can dream of having. No rules, no code, just bliss! Oblivious to the fact that we were helping each other deal with being away from home, and completely oblivious to the fact that during the course of this insane party we actually kept each other in check and prevented self-destruction. Years from then, those are the guys and girls who know and can explain my every move, and when all reasoning fails, I turn to them for their explanation of “me!” And then we come to friends in a foreign land, and that’s where friends take a small step over the line of friendship into the role of family. A group of friends opening doors, and walking through them together, and when a door slams on one of us, all the others are there to pick up the fallen one.
But yeah, silently performing these unspoken roles; with all my friends it’s been one wild party; Crazy jokes, insane laughter, introduction to new talents, new music, new outlooks, new cocktails, new religions, and a whole new life. My eyes are open!
Who caught my eye: My first memories date back to around 5 years old, and from that moment of awareness of self, I have also been aware of my weakness/strength for girls. I kissed girls and made them cry when I was in nursery and then the crying soon eased into different emotions when I hit school years! But jokes aside, I have been one of the luckiest people in the world. Every woman I have been attracted to and have spent time with has turned out to be absolutely amazing. I have been known for my weakness for pretty smiles, killer legs, etc etc, but every time I have let my guard down and loved someone it is crazy how much love I have gotten in return, and it amazes me that someone could love me that much; change me in ways I wanted me to changed, make me someone I always wanted to be, accept me the way I am at the same time, and make every moment a moment that deserves a smile and maybe a tear!
Who let me close my eyes: My parents put me on a plane when I was 20 feeling helpless, but turning me over to the ones they trusted the most, my relatives. Without naming anyone, my kin let me be who I was, and let me close my eyes and not worry about anything; rescued me from things as trivial as a car tire burst, as important as college admissions, and as traumatic as illness in a land where falling ill seems to be a sin! I learnt that you don’t have to be on American Idol to be a true idol (for my cousins), I learnt that family isn’t about talking about how much you love and miss your relatives, it’s all about being there when they need you!
What I hear when I close my eyes: I live for music. I happen to do a lot of stuff, but music is not a hobby, it’s my passion! My guitar has given me company every single day for the last 14 years, but only after coming to college park have I realized what I can do with it. Writing songs, playing music, and hanging with my band Antardhwani is something I can barely put into words, but in short it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Driven by passion and the fun it has been, Antardhwani has played 4 times for crowds despite band members’ hectic schedules, and the loss of band members who moved away, and now has several music compositions to splash over our first CD (someday ....). Besides fusion music, Alap and me, have more than 25 songs to show off on our unnamed, unlabeled, unheard band which one day will play the music we breathe for!
What keeps my eyes open: I never thot I would say this, but sometimes I am dying to fall asleep, but can’t coz I want to get up and work. Yeah, I’ve always excelled at academics, have tons of journal publications and a patent as an undergrad, but never really cared about anything I had done. Well, things change! The work I do now, Wireless Sensor Networks for tracking to save first responders in the face of an emergency has brought 20 years of answering tests and studying to life. My work will be patented, then published, yield dough, but even if none of that happens it will be a step towards saving somebody’s life.
My name is Amrit. I am turning 26. I have no regrets. I am the luckiest guy alive. There is nothing more I can ask for!
With arms wide open!
PS: Rearview Mirror is the name of Pearl Jam’s greatest hits.
Reader Comments (8)
Jokes apart, hope life turns out like good wine and only gets better with age!!! May your life be like toilet paper-long and useful".
Chal happy birthday and hope you had one helluva party.
Thanks for the awesome wishes too, life as good wine would be great, or maybe good scotch aged exactly 18 years ;).
When eveyone is a bit more free we all needta go, hang out and celeb and stuff.
Thanks for the coolest birthday wishes.
Amrit
Stumbled in by chance...and was captured! Some good work here!!You have got urself one more regular...;)
I'm flattered, hope you have an awesome stay in your visit.
Bandy
Its really super to look into your rearview mirror and find so many things that have made you and continue to make you feel happy!
hope that everday when you open your eyes you have something super to look forward to.
And of course enjoy maadi always.
I'm flattered that you liked my birthday speech. Sent it to my parents too, they loved it. You also used my favorite word "perfect" and my favorite phrase "Sheets of empty canvass" making your comment really perfect too. For the record, even though all ur writings start with "I am not good with words like you are: ..." I think you write the most heartfelt and effective stuff, or maybe just maybe you do your best scribbling on this little space of mine, and this space always, always loves having you here ... I'm glad u liked the rearview mirror and since you've been a huge part of it the last coupla years its even more fun to have you read it .....
Will enjoy maadi, you too ...