Tripping on India

I have never maintained this site as a diary. But, since my trip to India has new things everyday that I dont wanna lose track of here comes my diary!

Day 10 (01/29/06):  Jamshedpur - Sin City

Sunday was marked by watching Roger Federer prove to the entire world why the 24 year old is already hailed as the best player of all time. He allowed the challenger to make people doubt his supremacy for two sets and then demolished him 6-0, 6-2. Strokes of genius! In the evening, we went for a golf party where I hung out with an 8th grade guy, and a 10th grade girl and I must admit that it was one of the most fun I have had on the trip. The guy would keep on saying he wants a 36-24-36 ladki, and it was hilarious. The cap on the evening was at 12:00 when all the uncles were drunk out of their minds and one in front of his wife kept saying that “Amrit I know your numbers are greater than mine both in number of times and women but I am pretty close too!” and when she turned around in disapproval, he said “I don’t mind when she is turns around in anger coz I like this view too!” The next 5 mins involved me laughing hysterically with my mom begging me not to laugh anymore. Later, my mom gave me all the scoop on who is sleeping with whom, and I concluded Jamshedpur is Sin City!

Foods conquered: Chicken Korma, Shahi Paneer, Dahi Fish, Shrimp Curry

Day 9 (01/28/06): Party like its 1969

Saturday was very chilled. I wait for the weekend coz this is the only time I hang with my parents since they are busy working during the week. First went and visited my high school principal Sister Helena who was thrilled to see me, and kept telling my mom that she couldn’t believe that the naughtiest kid in school had matured so much, and also said I look nice and chubby! Later on that afternoon we went shopping for a family friend’s 25th anniversary. It was great for old times sake. In school I used to often accompany Miku for huge shopping sprees and we had a blast haggling, acting snob, and buying cool stuff. Managed to squeeze in a short date, no! the date(girl) wasn’t short, the date(duration) was ! The party was insane too. I am amazed at how these “pushing 60” year-olds can still party. There was food, there was dancing, and there was alcohol. The youngies stepped back as spectators as our folks shook it and laughed and partied. An amazing fact was that every uncle or aunty whose kid was in town looked 10 years younger totally outshone my Miku who looks 20 years younger ever since I got off the plane. And I found out that I have really, really matured. My parents in the middle of the party come and hug me and say “baby baby” something that would have made me bury myself back in high school, now its just amazing fun …….

Foods conquered: Butter Ghee Masala Dosa, Chicken Mughlai, Biryani, Blender’s Pride, Black Label

Day 8 (01/27/06): Sleeping Beauty

Sleep, Restroom, Sleep, Restroom, Sleep in Restroom

Foods conquered: Conquered by food!

Day 7 (01/26/06): Tri-Colored

I always thought that some day I would paint my kid’s face with colors before he went out trick or treating on Halloween. Well, I painted a kid’s face today, my dad’s! I painted his face with the tricolor so that he could get some attention and camera time at the Republic day parade, and it worked wonders, the camera never left him! After the parade we went to a classy restaurant for lunch, his face still painted. On return, went to the highway with friends Abhishek n Amrita and had lunch and drinks again. Evening was at CCD to see off our friend Itti where I devoured more chicken sandwiches, to wrap it up went to a shaadi and made talk with aunties and uncles and feasted on the yummiest shaadi menu ever! Was treated as a showpiece item and everyone came to see what I look like now. Felt awesome.

Foods conquered: Chicken Stroganoff, Fish n Chips, Reshmi Kabaab, Tandoori Chicken, Fish Fry, Butter Chicken, Chicken sandwiches, Biryani

 Ps.Cannot eat anymore, will never eat again

Day 6 (01/25/06): Up to Date!

I am so firangi (point III): I can’t drive in India anymore. I have no problems with the side of road anymore, simply drive on the side of road as determined by the kind of car I am handed (which side the steering wheel is). But I stop at intersections waiting for everyone to pass while the people behind me honk and get irritated. Afternoon involved intense hindi speaking as I tried to explain to shopkeepers that I needed a converter from American power outlet to Indian, quite challenging I must admit. Evening: Awesome Date (Viva La Café Coffee Day: Finally a dating/hangout place in Jam)

Foods conquered: Chicken Sandwiches, Pastries, Cappachillo (Yes we are unashamed of pigging out on dates)

Day 5 (01/24/06): Mattress Discounters

I am so firangi (point II): This morning I woke up, and went to the loo and there was no toilet paper. This entailed suiting up, driving in search of toilet paper for 15 mins, clenching butt cheeks at the store and on the way back, and making it back just in time for the fireworks. The rest of the day involved blasting my old electric guitar to tell the neighbors I am home, dada and me buying a new mattress for me for Rs 4000 which we thought was a great deal, and miku going back to the store after work to haggle on a sold item. My dad and made fun of her but were shut up when she came home with a free pillow, Rs 300 and more importantly piece of mind. Spent a chilled evening at home watching Sarkar, beautiful remake of godfather, to the point, no songs, personalized for Indian situations, very cool!

Foods conquered: Butter Chicken

Day 4 (01/23/06): F-1 (Flirt-I) Visa

An 8 o’clock visa interview was no problem to wake up for given that I woke up again at 6:00. My special interview for a visa was scheduled for a Kolkata holiday so it wasn’t much of a hassle, but nothing is without complications and the great computerization of information bit me in the ass. During my interview, it popped up that my aunt had once in 1998 applied for an immigrant visa for my mom which indirectly implies an open immigrant visa for my dad and me. This happens to be a really big complication because it makes it look like I have both an immigrant and non-immigrant visa application pending. Luckily, the interviewer was a 27 year old hottie from Virginia. So moi made chitchat about Fairfax, and DC hangouts and told her that I had no idea what my parents were upto. She giggled, smiled and yup I got a visa so I won’t be living this lazy life forever. The evening involved a rather boring trip back home in a train, but now I am back home in Jamshedpur, and home sweet home it is ….

Foods conquered: Pooris and Aloo Bhujiya, Trains chicken cutlets, Mommy’s Chilli Chicken

Day 3 (01/22/06): The Monologue

 Woke up half an hour later today to the relief of my parents. My cousin came over. Lately all my dad’s sisters have been plotting her hitch-up coz she is 27 but she has no intentions of getting married right now, and even if she did they have no idea what she is looking for. Anyways, she cried telling me the story early in the morning, so at breakfast I broke into monologue instructing everyone to back off. After the 30 minute monologue, I feasted to a huge breakfast, and as far as I know till now no one has raised the topic. We also went to visit my mom’s parents. Her dad kinda has too many senior citizen moments these days and is extremely entertaining. He took me over to his friend’s house to display me, and to my shock he asked me to recite poetry, that too in Bengali, and then asked me to touch their feet, neither of these events happened, of course, but none the less the requests were adorable. The rest of the evening I got documents ready for my visa interview. Boring!

Foods conquered: More pastries, fish fry, fish curry, pizza hut chicken tikka pizza

Day 2 (01/21/06): Saans Bharo for Bahooo!

I now wake up at 5:30 in the morning and then plead people to wake up. Then I make my aunts listen to Antardhwani music (they are classically trained professional singers so their opinion is respected) and they are extremely impressed by the raagish influence. Later on in the day since I traveled light my folks took me out t-shirt shopping. My mom has a new weapon and a new dream. She really, really wants a daughter-in-law (the dream) and instead of talking much about it she sighs (the new weapon) when she sees jewelry and walks through tank top sections in stores indicating she wishes she had a d-in-law to shop for/with! In fact she has told me that this year is supposed to be an awesome year for me and I should get settled. The enthusiasm is carrying over to the photograph sessions where she inquisitively asks questions about girls in my photo albums on my laptop.

Foods conquered: Aloo Parantha, Shrimp Cocktail (Too good), Samosas, Pastries, Chicken Pattie

Day 1 (01/20/06): HomeComing King! 

Well, the first day started pretty early, 1:30 in the morning. Exited into the customs area to find a dude standing with my name on a placard. He promptly asked me for my passport, bypassed an enormous customs line, and in 5 mins I was out (Royal Treatment). My parents were there outside the waiting area. We seem to have reached a Johnson and Johnson moment: No more tears. Was the warmest feeling ever to see them, and conversations took over as we spent a talkative early morning till they fell asleep and I spent time the rest of the morning with Jet lag and my mp3 player. The rest of the day after waking up was spent giving gifts to my cousins which they loved, presents to parents and general catching up. In the evening, we went to my old favorite restaurant and feasted on Indian Chinese at BAR-B-Q. In other news my mom showed extreme disapproval at the threads hanging off my jeans and trackpants and I guard them closely to prevent them from getting the famous scissor treatment.

Foods conquered: Poori Bhaji, Mutton Curry, Indian Chinese

Day 0: (Don’t really know what day it is)

I have never been one for talking on the plane to random strangers who have been placed next to me by a computer’s whim. Maybe, just maybe with the great success of internet profiling and dating, all our profiles should be matched and even travel partners should be determined by equating some sort of travel partner quotient. Living in America I have always been amazed at the ease at which Americans pour out their social, mental issues to a stranger in 5 minutes while waiting for coffee at Starbucks. It takes me at least 5 months to achieve the same with close friends. But this feat Americans accomplish is quite commendable. A shrink costs 200 smackaroos an hour, so if you just wanna get something off your chest why not unleash it on someone who will never see you again, therefore never judge you for what you say … brilliant!

 I am so firangi (point I): On the flight from Heathrow to Kolkata, my travel mate Andrea decided to make chitchat with me complementing me on the sound of the music I was blasting. Even though she was quite attractive, and sounded pretty sweet, I thought of cutting this conversation short in a matter of seconds as I usually do on planes. But then it happened, I told her how my work was coming along, how I wanted to get a patent, join a new company, how my parents were, how my love life has been lately, how my bands are coming along, how I hurt my back, everything! Yes, Andrea knows more about me than most acquaintances do. And the result, truly liberating! The session with her has left me with nothing to crib about and now when anyone asks me the most piercing questions about the above issues, I beam “Everything is simply awesome!”

Comments

[Rashi]

Hi Amrit,

How come you always manage to get twice as much fun as anybody else? Or, at least, that's how it seems!

And what's been happening since the 29th?

Keep us posted,
Rashi