Attack on the Clones
Monday, June 13, 2005 at 12:38AM Sitting on a plane, listening to music, blogging: my laptop rules! So, I paid a much desired visit to sweet home Alabama . It’s weird to live in Maryland and dream once in a while about Alabama the place at one time I was dying to get out of. However, 3 years of undy-grad life in bama has made me quite a southern boy. I can't get enough football on tv, country fried steak makes me drool, and Southern Belles with the Southern drawl make me have to take a shower 5 times a day. The Southern hottie is quite the woman: flowing blonde hair, wandering blue eyes, a flirtaceous yet elusive smile, sexy hoarse voice, southern drawl, and friendly enough to make you think she is coming on to you the first time she meets you. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the bod! Breasts so well shaped that gravity has accepted defeat, dark legs that beg you to stare and get caught staring. All in all, a lady, a woman, a girl! However, the intriguing part is that every belle who catches the eye seems to look just the same, as if they are clones. Same complexion, same voice, same accent, same smile, clones all clones. Are they similar to the clones in Attack of the Cones, Episode 2? Well, some of them are in the dumbness area. Neways, I boldly subjected myself to this clone army on the streets, in the bars, in the shopping malls for a week, until a tri-variant of Order 66 was executed on me while I used the force, lots of force.
Back to the real clone wars, Star Wars was a huge part of the week. Appalled by my failure to watch Episode 5, 1 previously, my cousins took it upon themselves to rectify the situation. We went through episodes 4,5,6, Empire Strikes Back (5) being my favorite. Then we tackled the much cursed The Phantom Menace (1). In my opinion the movie was a delight. Excellent plot, exceptional acting, mind-blowing pod race, Natalie Portman, and an awesome light saber duel. I did have the advantage of seeing the movie after being familiarized with episodes 2,3 though. Attack of the Clones (2) still remains the disappointment featuring the whinny Aniken Skywalker who looks more like Nick Carter from the backstreet boys, with a voice that could never compare to the great Lord Vader. The only saving moments in the movie were Yoda wielding his saber, and Natalie Portman. Return of the Sith (3) was up their with the oldies barring a slight jester like performance by Obi-Wan, lack of focus on the dark side of the force, and the movie overall was a ADD’s dream come true. But undoubtedly Lucas is a genius; his picturization, the accents influenced from cultures far off, and the close to impeccable tightness of the story are to be marveled at. The only issues with the splicing I have found or been pointed out so far are:
- Larce, Luke’s Uncle does not recognize 3PO in Epi 4 though 3PO serves him in Epi 3, by the way 3PO is one really gay droid
- Leah says that her real mother was kind, but sad etc, whereas epi 3 shows that her mother dies within minutes of giving birth, but she may have been talking about her foster mom.
- Can't remember the last one, damn!
If any of you know of more, do lemme know. However, while watching these movies I was taken aback by the resemblance to American Politics and Religion in this dual trilogy. The Sith Lords, as powerful as the jedi, one with the dark side of the force, wish to bring peace and order to their empire by ruling the galaxy their way and imposing their will on their subjects. They believe in absolute power though they want the war to end too. Sound familiar? The Jedis on the other hand believe that democracy is the way politics should be decided and plot to overthrow the Chancellor (The Sith Lord.) I would hardly want to label George W. Bush as a Jedi but again America ’s attack on Saddam (the Sith Lord) resulting in mayhem, and formation of separatist groups (terrorist orgranizations and bittered nations) still loyal to the Master do strike a common chord.
On a different note, the force is omnipresent, within us all, around us, omniscient, omnipotent. Mmm define God? Anniken Skywalker’s immaculate birth, his infant display of special powers, the prophecy of the Chosen One to bring peace to the empire by slaying the Sith. Are we watching the Bible? But wait, have the story of Jesus and the antichrist been muddled up. The Chosen One turns to evil, but finally does fulfil the prophecy by overthrowing the sith ok literally overthrow, hee hee. So was Aniken the son of God, the good side of the force with highest midichlorians ever, or did Darth Plagueis, the sith who could control midiclorians find a way of reincarnating himself after being slain by his treacherous apprentice Darth Sidious. My take on it is that Darth Plagueis taught his apprentice, Sidious how to create/sustain life. Plagueis did not create Aniken, Sidious/Palpatine did by using the force to will the midichloreans. Given his evil creation he was always prone to the dark side (impulsive, greedy, whinny), however, in ROTS when Anakin is dying, Palpatine uses his sustaining powers (touches his brow) to prolong his life as Darth Vader though he never teaches Vader this trick. In any case, it was an amazing ride, enjoyed it I did! I’m sorry I did the yoda thing again. Sorry, I am! Again? stop it, no you stop it, no you stop it …………
-Conghoolius
P.S: Went to watch Episode 3 at Birmingham , Saw some people with sabers, 3 dressed as Vader, and one dude as a Storm Trooper. Who on earth decides to dress up as a retarded, insignificant clone? Seriously? Which Storm Trooper was he? Number 766 from Episode 4 or Number 67 from Episode 2?
bandy
My Star Wars Pick-up Line:
"I really wanna lay ya, so that I can end my hand solo days!"
Reader Comments (3)
A: if sam jackson had made the shepherd speach from pulp fiction when he went to arrest palpatine, and ended it with "die you sith mother f***er" and blown his head off with a big a** gun :D