More Me

Contact:  bandying@gmail.com

Bands:

My BAND: BAD KROHMA and ANTARDHWANI

Bad Krohma on Reverbnation

 

Rock: Led Zeppelin, Floyd, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Stone Temple, Iron Maiden, Nirvana, Metallica, Ozzy, Tantric, Dire Straits, Skynrd

Progressive Rock: Porcupine Tree, Opeth, The Mars Volta


Alternative Rock: 
Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Nine Inch Nails, Rage Against the Machine

Comteporary Rock:
Puddle of Mudd, Godsmack, Disturbed, Shinedown, Breaking Benjamin

Pop Rock:
311, Nickelback, Goo Goo Dolls

Hip-Hop :
Luda, Eminem, Tupac, Coolio

Punk Rock: Avenge Sevenfold, Thrice, Green Day

Indy:
Junoon, Panjabi MC, Rabbi, Rehman

Female Powered Songs:
All cranberries, Bic  Runga- sway, Beverly Craven - promise me, frou frou - let go

Movies:

Garden State, Truman Show, Dead Man Walking, Matrix (part one only), Adaptation , Memento, Eternal Sunshine, Primal Fear, Usual Suspects, One  Fine Day, Fight Club, Sixth Sense, Omen, The untouchables

TV Shows:

24, Family Guy, South Park, That 70's Show, Whose Line is it?, Two and a half men, Friends, Seinfeld, Curb your enthusiasm, Apprentice


Think about thinking ....

How many words define a person? Would the perfect description help you recognize me sometime when you meet me, or would it help us get along better, would it make you smile when you have deja vu between sight and knowledge? I dont know, maybe it'd just scare you away .... Anyways, stick around and take a look. Might just be fun!


Research is like writing your own music!

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Tuesday
May102005

His Mother's Days

Mothers's Day, Sunday, 2005, called up home at 11:00 at night to say hi to my mom (miku) and ask her if the flowers I sent her were the bestest gift ever or not? My dad (dada) picked up the phone.  A born surgeon whose hand never shakes, a confident voice that never fluctuates,  today, had his voice quivering and I could hear the phone ( a rather ancient chordless)  trembling in his hands. Chills shot down my back, as he said its Mother's Day and his mother (my grandmother) had just left forvever.  "Dont feel sad!" he sad as my head filled up with sadness, "Dont cry" he said, as my eyes welled up . "She was a great mother,  and she died and we cremated her the same place where we cremated your grandfather, and set her ashes afloat in the same river. Her last wish was to travel from Calcutta to Jamshedpur, and die holding her only son's hand as she bid her entire family and the world farewell.  she got it.
Last year I hurt my left hip.  Pained like crazy and I couldnt walk.  Dada told me that three months ago, thamma (grandmom in bengali) started getting a lot of pain in her body.  however, she refused to take painkillers coz she was praying to god that he gives her all my pain and every time it hurt she felt her prayers were answered. ironically a week before leaving us she fell down, broke her left hip, and passed away with insane amounts of pain in her left side. Her last words being " Is he(me) alright?"  and when dada answered yes, she closed her eyes, called it a day, a month, a year, a lifetime! more chills down spinal chord, goosebumps.  Today, I have no pain anywhere in my body, and my hip is like it used to be. I dont know what to think! Thamma was the most spiritual lady I ever knew. her whole life she just served people. Was one of the first lady doctors in nepal, ( a gynochologist), and after retiring devoted her life to her lord, took care of my grandfather who was paralyzed, and picked up poor  kids from the road to bring them home and feed them. just some among the many things she did for others.
didnt know what to say to my dad, my mom was crying like crazy too ..  just heard what they had to say and put the phone down as they asked me to pray for her soul.  So, sat at my computer numb,  and started to write a mail to my dad

Dada,
I dont know what to say. I know that it was time for her to leave us, and I know that it is great that she went without suffering. my eyes were filled with tears when i was talking to you. I know that though u are relieved that everything happened just the way she envisioned it , and she left without too much pain, u are deeply sad .... and thats the way it should be coz when someone you love dies , you should feel sad ... happy that she is in a better place ... sad that you will never see her again .. except maybe ur dreams ... the sweet thing is that our brains are the cutest things in the world. When things are in motion u remember both the hard times and the fun times , but when something goes away only the good moments remain in ur heart ...
I know that thamma loved me like crazy. One becoz she loved me , two coz she had insane amounts of love for you , and u had insane amounts of love for me ...and she always treated me like the heir to a throne. I remember once she told me that she wishes she could see the next heir to our "kingdom" before she died   so I should get married soon. Me and my stupid jokes, I told her I could give her heirs without getting married. My aunts (your sisses) screamed at me but thamma just kept giggling and called me paaaji (wicked but cute in bengali, at least the way she meant it).   I could tell by the way she used to smile and kiss me for the few times I have spent with her that she loved me like crazy... her house was lucky for me and she left taking away all my pain, and having pain of her own in the same side. Maybe coincidence or maybe the proof of the faith of a lady as spiritual as possible, and heart full of love. She was the one who got tumpa married off, rescued Runa pishi in her time of need, kept iman n hambir happy given their probs at home, she served everyone around her way past her prime .. or maybe her prime was her entire life ... i loved her a lot ... among all my grand parents I was closest to her .. I am glad I missed you guys a couple of sundays ago and got to talk to her and for the first time in years she actually heard everything i said ... and was very happy too ...
I am so happy that her voice was the first voice I heard on my birthday too .. .I called her up first thing when I wok e up coz she is the most spiritual person I know and i was in deep need of some sort of spiritual touch in my life .... I will definitely pray for her, though I've hardly ever prayed in my life. I hope god recognizes me hehe though I am sure he will be honored to have her in heaven ......  I guess what I am trying to say  is that I loved her, and I know she was too strong,  loving, and headstrong a person to just vanish into thin air.  She is hanging out with Dadu now, hopefully not makin him tea (coz her tea sucks hehe) but her love will pour on us every time it rains maybe .... I hope it rains right now! I need it to rain .........
Love  you
miss you
naby

Reader Comments (1)

Tirma
I never thought u cud ....U cud..write something like this...anyways u wrote this around 2 years back...ok...given..this is one of ur rare of the rarest moments...anyways...reading all...dunno how much of it is truth ...but ok..u r a gud writer..

PS..Im really enjoyn ur site..(know who am I?)
July 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSmak

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