PHASE I:
I am gonna meet my wife, hopefully sometime soon. We're gonna have an awesome first date, and she's gonna be sooo happy, tra la la la la, telling her friends, it was amazing, we have so much in common, and we bonded so well, and he was so romantic, and he made me laugh ... havta stop there, I dont have sex on the first date, and tell, so cant tell you about that part. We're gonna go out on dates almost everyday, have the most awesome time spending time with each other, and she's gonna be all happy, tra la la la la, telling her friends, this is going so well, we have so much fun when we are with each other, and I think, oh god, this is so good, and my girl is so happy, nothing can go wrong.
PHASE I Complete

PHASE II: 
A week goes by, and she's gonna be telling her friends, he's soo stupid, we go out all the time, it so amazing, but he loves calling it dating, why the hell doesnt he call me his girlfriend? what the fuck is wrong with him? boo hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo. And so, I'm gonna resist for a bit, then figure out, well I guess she really is my girlfriend and I like that, so one day I'll give in and say one morning, mmmm nothing like waking up next to my girlfriend ... and she's gonna be sooo happy, tra la la la, la la la la. I again think everything is perfect, nothing could go wrong coz my girl is happy.
PHASE II Complete

PHASE III: 
A couple of months go by and she's the happiest girl ever, and then she's sniffling as she tells her friends, my boyfriend is so stupid, we've been dating for months, its soo amazing, but he hasnt said that he loves me, why the hell doesnt he say it? what the fuck is wrong with him? And again, I'll resist it for a while, but then realize, damn, I really love this girl and I like that, so I'll give in and say one morning, mmmm nothing like waking up next to the girl I love ... AND she's gonna be sooo happy, tra la la la, la la la la.
PHASE III Complete

PHASE IV: 
And so another couple of months go by, she's the happiest girl in the world and I think nothing can go wrong, this is so perfect, and then she's crying and telling her friends, this guy who loves me, he's so stupid, we're so in love and I spend all my time at his place, and he hasnt asked me to move in, I think he's using me, why hasnt he asked me to move in with him, what the fuck is wrong with him? And again, I resist for a couple of days, and then think, well she kinda lives here, and its so nice when she's around, and I'm gonna give in and say one morning, mmmm nothing like waking up next to the girl I love every day, AND she's gonna be sooo happy, tra la la, la la la la.
PHASE IV Complete

PHASE V: 
Another couple of months go by, and she's the happiest girl in the world, and I think things are so perfect, nothing can go wrong, and then she's howling and telling her friends, This guy I live with is so stupid, we've been living together for months, I take care of him all the time, waaaaah, waaaaah, and he hasnt asked me to marry him yet, waaaaah, why is he doing this to me, why doesnt he want to marry me, what the fuck is wrong with him? And I'm gonna resist one last time, and finally realize, well, I guess this is it, this is the girl I'm gonna call my wife, so I'm gonna give in and say one morning (well, this one will probably not be in the morning, but just for the sake of continuity), mmmmm nothing like waking up next to the girl I love every day for the rest of my life. AND, she is gonna be sooooo happy that she is gonna be in tears, and she's gonna show that fucking ring to all her friends, and cry even more, and she's gonna cry before the wedding, on the wedding day, and after the wedding ...........
PHASE V Complete

 
Which brings me back again to my point ... If this girl is gonna love me sooooo much that she is gonna cry for me, want me to be her boyfriend, and will cry until i accept it, love me so much that she wants me to love her, and will cry until I say it, love me so much, that she wants to live with me, and will cry until it happens, and love me so much that she will want to marry me, and will cry until I ask her, then WHY the fuck is she cheating on me? Why cant she just sit her smoking hot ass back at home, keep her smoking hot legs together, and fucking blog, the way NORMAL single people do?

So back to the flow, Davy Jones (lets not judge him for who he is), sails the seas *², has a mean crew, and has found a way of giving his oceanic “blessings” to the others at sea, as debts, and has devised a method that works for him in giving, having repayed, and punishing for lack of repayal, of these debts. (Again let’s not judge him for his devised way of life coz it works for him). Coming to the most important point, he has several means of trying to get through, and deal with the others, but when all else fails he resorts to his last and meanest weapon, Unleashing the Kraken! *³ The Kraken is a huge, legendary, sea monster that is assigned the cause of Davy Jones’ wrath as its target, usually the ship of the chosen one, and sinks it till it destroys the ship and the person! Now, remember, Davy does not unleash the Kraken every now and then, but reserves it till all else fails and his method of peace comes crashing down, and he is forced to use this weapon! As we see in the movie, when Davy decides to Unleash the Kraken becoz of his accumulated rage, a number of his sailors use great effort to open the hatch to release this monster, proving a huge decision on Davy’s part. When the chosen one is taught a lesson (destroyed) Davy gets intense satisfaction, yes he does, yes he does, though he knows that they got a little more than they deserved. However, this method has drawbacks for Davy. Being a powerful man at sea, there are several little fish who try to get back, show disapproval to Davy all the time. Davy notes these, but has hardly reached the point of unleashing the Kraken on them. However, between unleashing the Kraken and the Kraken reaching the target, if any of the other minor offenders instigate Davy, hell breaks loose! Given that he is already pissed off, and the Kraken is unleashed, Davy might just use the Kraken to completely destroy some one who dint deserve the wrath of the Kraken at all! And when the Kraken is done, and all is calm, Davy feels horrible for what happened, yes he does, yes he does! Sometimes the Kraken’s destroying the non-deserving candidate even lessens the wrath on the initial candidate which is just not fair, and Davy knows it and feels even more terrible, yes he does, yes he does! But it’s a part of life, it’s a part of a working scheme Davy Jones has devised. So please don’t judge him too harsh for what he has done coz if he knew how to apologize he would, yes he would, yes he would.

Back to the movie, I simply loved two things about it.

One, the amazingly funny script which actually takes your mind off the details, that seem illogical. Example, when the cannibals, coupla feet behind Jack don’t follow him on to the Pearl or throw spears at it, makes you wonder “What?” But, the next minute you see them chase the dog, and forget the lack of logic, while bursting into hysteric laughter.

Secondly, the metaphor of the compass pointing at what you want most, to me, was excellent. Showing, how after leaving Bloomy on the evil ship, and needing to get to the dead man’s chest in particular and any land in general, Jack doesn’t know what he wants most, so he hands the compass to Kiera, whom he convinces to “want the chest” to save Bloomy! Finally when he tries to run away from the Pearl, sees Kiera disappointed, and checks his compass, he sees that “he wants to get back to the Pearl” the most, as the compass points to it.

A complaint I have about the movie, is it being a 3 hour awesome preview for a sequel a year away. The level of lack of closure was definitely not fair to viewers who dint expect it. Finally, I hope the makers are careful with their explanation of Barbosa coming back from the dead, coz if everyone can “not die” it takes away from the excitement of near-death events, and I also hope there is no corny love triangle, and that Jack, Kiera, and Bloomy remain Pirates!

* "The flying Dutchman" sounds like an awesome ship to be on coz I am sure it is full of "Sea Weed" that explains the Duch and the flying part in the name.

* ² The words "Davy Jones, he sails the seas" was put into one of our Songs "Ten Second Rule" by Alap way before this movie made the name popular

* ³ I wudave spelt the word Kraken as Cragon if it werent for the omniscient Wikipedia.

Anyways, coming to the topic that makes me wonder. Guys, (and I really hope this is not news to any girl who reads this), when with friends, check out women, and get extremely excited about hot women with large breasts. Even if their own preference is small, medium, whatever, the spotting of lovely large breasts is always followed by "Man, they are so big, ooooooh, I think I am gonna die!" (hindi translation: Kitna bade bade hain, mar jaooonga main!" Now I wonder if this kind of checking out exists among the other animals. I wonder if a bunch of male jugnus, hover around trees at nite, waiting for the female jugni with the brightest light to fly by, and say to each other, "Oooooh, god she is just so bright, it drives me insane!" or "Woh jab batti jalati hai, so main pagal ho jata hoon"   Maybe the females say to each other "I wish I had a light as bright as her, all the boys would just love me then" or "my boyfriend Jugnu, just loves me coz of my huge lights and doesnt even care who I really am inside!" hahahahahha That would be hilarious! Or maybe I have it all wrong, may be the animal kingdom has role reversals. We know that the Peacock is the one with the ornamental colors, the lion, the one with the mane, so maybe the other animals, have the females, lusting after the men, and the men are tired of being objects of obsession and lust, and just want someone to love them and talk to them. hahhahahahhahaha!

Anyways, if this is the case, and the rest of the animals actually have women lusting over men, I think in humans, we guys, have made up for the rest of the animal kingdom with the amount of lusting we have done over women. I am so thrilled to be a guy!

Goodnite and Boo-bye!

Claimer:  This piece is dedicated to the lovely lady who made me wonder, Ayesha Takia! Point-to note: When a hottie's t-shirt struggles to make it back to her stomach (doest make it back and hangs loose mid-air(Fig 1)). THAT IS SEXY!  and the last name: Takia (pillow in hindi) just makes it so much hotter!

So, I am back to fighting about whats Ironic! As I pointed out I am not the only one to feel this way about Alanis' song Ironic! While browsing bloggish sites, I came across this one which kinda tore her song down too harsher than I did and there was a comment that stated:

"Hi, I'm an English teacher. I hate to tell you, but you are all sadly "unenlightened." There are 3 different types of irony. Here are some definitions for you:
Situational Irony: This occurs when there is a discrepancy between the actual circumstances and those that would seem appropriate, or between what one anticipates and what actually comes to pass (The song is full of situational irony)
Verbal irony: The discrepancy between what is said and what is meant. Sarcasm is a form of verbal irony. It is exhibited when Mr. Play It Safe thinks "Well, isn't this nice?" He actually means the exact opposite. Now, don't you feel stupid? Maybe Alanis is smart after all.

Now, I know that this comment was not made out to me though I am gonna address it. But I love it when someone pulls out an "Oxford dictionary" definition to prove their point. Worst way to begin a debate, worst way to end it, unless you are in the 1st grade. And yeah bless the souls of the kids who learn English from this teacher! 

To elucidate why I am being mean, the comment has exactly the same weakness as the song! Sometimes it takes more than a line to reveal Irony which is why Alanis toppled, sometimes it takes more than a line to explain the meaning of a word or expression such as "situational irony!" topple goes the English Teacher!

Lets say I anticipated I would be working today at 12:00, and come 12:00 I really havta take a shit! This discrepancy in what I anticipated and what comes to "pass" (haha) does not make my shitting/passing IRONIC! 

If I am waiting for a taxi, anticipating availability, and there is none, this is NOT situational irony!

Situational Irony requires much more of a playback in events, thought, etc to be established!

This is how I look at irony!

Case I: Lets consider Julius Caeser being stabbed:

Julius Caeser did not expect to get stabbed, and he did get stabbed! Is that Ironic! Fuck no!

Julius Caeser did not expect to get stabbed and he went to the senate that day just to meet Brutus, who stabbed him! Ironic? Borderline Ironic!

Julius Caeser was warned of the ides of March, knew he was in danger, dint know whether he should go to the senate that day , but thought, nothing can happen to me, my friend Brutus is there! and  Brutus stabbed him!  YES, IRONIC!

Case II: Very hindi movie setting, a business man who takes bribes and hides money from the IRS is busted

The lala has black money, doest expect to get busted and gets busted. Ironic? NAHIN!

The lala started taking bribes, evading taxes so that his son could be a rich man, and avoid all the hardships he went through as a child, but the son becomes a police affsar, and busts him! Ironic? BAHUT IRONIC!

Okay, now I have closure, I can go to sleep in peace. 'Thank you', Alanis, coz you oughta know!

Lately, I passionately wonder if things that happen, are said, are thought, etc, are ironic or not. Why? Coz the word is passed around like a cheap whore, just like the “open and end quote” gesture (future blog). My first meeting with Irony was during high school English classes when we were studying Shakespeare. Shakespeare worked dramatic irony into most of his plays, often scenarios where the actor delivers a dialogue without presently knowing its impact, but the audience does and is greatly amused! I barely remember a scene where Orlando is practising courting Rosalind, on Rosalind, who is dressed as a boy, Ganymede. The audience knows that Ganymede is his love, Rosalind, but he doesn’t, making the scene ironic. Milking the irony Shakespeare makes Orlando ask her of her actions, “But will my Rosalind do so?” and she replies “By my life, she will do as I do!”

These days this word that used to pique my interest makes me furious. All credits to Alanis Morissette and her masterpiece Ironic! I guess there is a lotta controversy as always, coz fans will explain anything, and critics will tear down anything, coz we havta be unquestionably Democratic or Republic, black or white, gray is just not allowed. Here are my feelings for Alanis other than this song: “U oughta know” blew my mind away, the music, the voice, the lyrics, her other songs mostly rock, and yeah! I did not enjoy her being naked in her video for “thank you”, I felt like saying, “Thanks but no Thanks!”

Well, lets get right down to the point. The song is called Ironic, and I believe she was listing things which she believed could be Ironic. Will get to the controversy in a bit but here is the break down.

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day

Okay, let’s start! That is very unfortunate, NOT Ironic. If the old man committed suicide the day before coz he wasn’t winning the lottery, then maybe, this way, NO, NO, NO!

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

That is just weird, take the fly out and drink the damned Chardonnay, woman! But even though not Ironic, since Chardonnay is white, and the fly is black, and she wont drink her drink, I’ll give her half a point outa 10!

It's a death row pardon two minutes too late

Again, boo hoo, and the word for the boohoo feeling, is SAD not IRONIC!

It's like rain on your wedding day

Seriously?

It's a free ride when you've already paid

What?

It's the good advice that you just didn't take

That’s just bloody stupid. Call the song “Bloody Stupid”

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."

Mmmmm! Well, this time she spent an entire verse describing the event, as an ironic situation might require, and maybe one more line would completely bring out the irony, but cool, I give it to you, this one is Ironic, esp the sarcasm!

A traffic jam when you're already late

Here we go again! Somebody stop her! Boo hoo, waah! UN-fucking-FORTUNATE!

A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break

It doesn’t matter coz you’re on dope Alanis, and on dope anything can be anything! But sure, why not, 1 outa 10. hahaha

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

Not unless you normally carry ten thousand knives! Otherwise, ten thousand times Un-fucking-fortunate!

It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife

What can I say, good for the man! But the good news is “I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to geico!”, just kidding (I miss my little cousin, he just loves that joke), the good news is that’s the last line we havta dissect.

Well, I am sure all of you have different notions of ironic. Her examples to me just don’t cut it. Some fans argue that the ironic part is that there is nothing ironic in the song and then others come up with dictionary definitions of situational irony. Pretty wishful thinking in my opinion. Wikipedia even reports that she has said that that’s what the title means, its ironic coz nothing in the song is. The report awaits citation. If it’s true, nice way to save your ass Alanis. If that’s what you intended, and you yet included the lines

And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...

We should just go back to calling the song, BLOODY STUPID!

Honestly, I know tons of people have spotted this too. I kinda forgot about it. Was in Radioshack to buy a power strip, instead the salesmen managed to entice me into buying an expensive surge protector to protect my computers, distortion unit, etc from voltage fluctuations. I gave in owing to my love for these gadgets. While checking out he asked me if I wanted to add $8 for a 2 year insurance to which I immediately said no! Just outa curiosity I asked him “So what’s the insurance for?” He said “Well, the surge protector might blow in case of a voltage fluctuation!” Alanis, is that just stupid or was there some irony in the situation?

Nostradamus, the man who saw tomorrow! Nostradamus was born in 1503 in France, and lived till 1566. Many people believe that Nostradamus could predict the future. I don’t know if this is true but he definitely managed to make himself part of the future. Stories have been told of his great powers, one being, during a visit to Italy, Nostradamus passed a group of Franciscan monks, and suddenly exclaimed and threw himself down on the ground, bowing and clutching the garment of one of the monks, Felice Peretti, a former swine herder. When questioned about his act he replied "I must yield myself and bow before his Holiness!" 19 years after Nostradumas' death, Felice Peretti became Pope Sixtus V. After facing several ups and downs in life, Nostradamus settled down, writing down his predictions in 10 books named the Centuries, each containing 100 predictions written in 4 line verses called quatrains. Historians have dedicated their lives to making sense of his predictions, and their greatest shortcoming lie in the fact that almost no one has been able to flag a prediction before the occurrence of the event. More than half his predictions are believed by some to have been true in 20/20 hindsight. This is attributed to the cryptic nature of his quatrains, maybe to evade persecution in his time.

Now, if you believed that I had the power to fortel future events, and I was a quack, I could sit down and write cryptic prose about a terrorist bombing (coz I know someday terrorists are gonna get their way), about a famous assassination, (coz some prominent figure will be assassinated someday in the future), about a devastating hurricane, a flood maybe just to cover global warming. After I am dead and gone, if any of these events come true and if enough people believe in my shit, they'll correlate it to whatever events match, wherever they match. If you wanna believe, you will believe. If I predicted events in 3000A.D and the world ended in 2500AD would that matter? No! When the world is ending, no one would be chanting "Oh Amrit fucked up!" hahahahaha. They'd be scrambling to save their behinds!

But, why would an extremely intelligent man, who knew he had the power to save people from the deadly plague, spend his time predicting events way into the future, knowing that correct predictions would benefit him in no way! Either he was crazy and warped, or he actually wanted to warn people of the visions he believed to be true.

Back to the points I want to focus on. Most of what I learnt came from an article I found online. It spoke of how Nostradamus predicted 3 powerful and tyrannical leaders or antichrists. The first is now believed to be Napoleon of whom Nostradamus is reputed to have written:

An Emperor shall be born near Italy.
Who shall cost the Empire dear,
They shall say, with what people he keeps company
He shall be found less a Prince than a butcher.

From a simple soldier he will rise to the empire,
From the short robe he will attain the long.
Great swarms of bees shall arise.

There are more passages that are believed to be about Napoleon and his conquests.

The second antichrist Nostradamus spoke of was argued to be Adolf Hitler from the passages:

He shall come to tyrannize the land.
He shall raise up a hatred that had long been dormant.
The child of Germany observes no law.
Cries, and tears, fire, blood, and battle.

A captain of Germany shall come to yield himself by false hope,
So that his revolt shall cause great bloodshed.

Beasts wild with hunger will cross the rivers
The greater part of the battlefield will be against Hister.

The article points out that experts believe that Nostradamus almost spelt out the name "Hitler" but missed it by an alphabet, others, further explain the difference in the alphabet with calligraphic explanations. The word Hister before the advent of Hitler however was believed to refer to the Danube (Ister).

And here comes the interesting part on the third antichrist in the article.

Out of the country of Greater Arabia
Shall be born a strong master of Mohammed...
He will enter Europe wearing a blue turban.
He will be the terror of mankind.
Never more horror.

In the year 1999 and seven months
From the sky will come the great King of Terror.
He will bring back to life the King of the Mongols;
Before and after war reigns.

The article then explains that Nostradamus predicted some long lasting war, and says that he predicted the first target:

The sky will burn at forty-five degrees.
Fire approaches the great new city

The piece then goes on to explain that Nostradamus used the words, New World, for America, and experts believe that the “new city” could be New York, especially since New York lies near 45 degrees latitude. It also says that this “strong master of mohammed” could be Saddam Hussain, but many believe he is yet to come.

At this point in the article I was very confused! How come there was nothing about the events of September 11^th? And how come Bin Laden had not been tied to the third antichrist. I scrolled to the bottom searching for his name, and then scrolled to the very top to start the search again, and came across what did send a chill down my spine. The article was written in 1993!

After the events of 9/11, there were several sites/emails, that distorted the last two lines about the 45 degrees to make people believe that Nostradamus had predicted the attacks. They were all well-refuted and rightfully so.

However, nothing changes the fact that there is an article in 1993, that says that Nostradamus predicts that: The third antichrist is yet to come, will be a strong master of Mohammed, out of the country of Greater Arabia, and his first target will be New York which will have flames in the sky!

These are the last words in the article:

“Was Nostradamus a fraud or a prophet? There are some who say that the seeming accuracy of his quatrains are a result of their facile interpretations (Guentte). Still, more than four hundred books and essays about his prophecies have been published since his death in 1566, along with a great number of articles and other commentaries, in numerous languages (Randi 5). Even skeptics pay careful attention to Nostradamus' predictions of the three anti-Christs. If Nostradamus truly predicted Napoleon and Hitler we should take heed of his words about the future. Perhaps we can prevent the dismal fate Nostradamus has predicted (Guentte)”

Maybe if our author was more paranoid, someone who decoded one of Nostradamus’ predictions 8 years before the event, could have saved the day!

    Okay, so let me explain. Say, you and me are in a relationship, any kind. When you are troubled by something, and want to talk it out with me and I ask you if something is wrong, you first say "No nothing is wrong!" However, at this point, you wish I wud ask you one more time "Are you sure?" Now, the deciding factor at this point is "Am I the same type as you in this respect?" If I am and I follow the Golden Rule, I would want you to ask me again if I were in ur shoes and so I ask you "Are you sure?" and things are rosy coz I know something is wrong and would ask you till you tell me and both of us are happy! Now, what if I am the opposite variety? What if when I am upset, I want everyone to leave me the fuck alone? Then following the Golden Rule, I would not ask you a second time, coz I wudnt want to be asked a second time if I were in ur shoes, thus, I would have you leave me alone, so I would do to you as I would have you do to me and leave you the fuck alone! Breakdown, breakdown, breakdown! At this time you would have been upset with me and the Golden Rule fails. The same applies in the converse situation, if I were the one upset, you would keep asking me if I were okay, which is the way you would have had me behave and I would be upset with you coz I would rather have you leave me alone!

    So rather confusing, but what I am saying is that in relations, it isnt important to act as you would have others act with you, but to act as they DO with you. So since you are the "need to be asked again" variety and have done that to me before, when you are upset, I shud keep asking you till you tell me whats wrong. Conversely, the moment I say I'm fine or I dont wanna talk about it, U, knowing that I am the "leave me the fuck alone" variety should do exactly that! See, we disobeyed the Golden Rule, and things worked out just fine. Another example of where it works is next. Lets say, a couple is in a relationship. Everytime, lets say the girl gets angry and says she wants to be left alone, the guy does exactly that, and she spends the next few hours wishing he would just ask her more times. The next time the guy is angry and says he wants to be left alone, shud she keep talking to him remembering how bad she felt when he gave her "space"  or should she remember that he walked out and figure out that he did that thinking that wud make her happy, and give him "space" coz now she knows that thats the way he likes it! Easy, give him space! Conversely, Guy, dont walk out!

    The conclusion suggests that in a relationship, we should not "do to others as you would have them do to you" but you should "Do to others as they do to you!". Sounds good, but there is an underlying fallacy. If everyone did to others what they do to them and followed my Golden Rule, people might already be doing things for the other based on their personality analysis, and this action might be the opposite of what they would want for themselves. Therefore, the rule should be ""Do to others as they WANT to do to you!" coz back to the first example, even if I learnt that you need to be asked twice and keep asking you, I still WANT to leave you alone, so  you should do what I WANT to do to you!

    Now, to figure out what someone wants is not the best solution. So the proposed algorithm involves a synchronization phase and a Processing Phase.

Synchronization Phase: In the synchro phase two people meet and should behave spontaneously. if you need to be asked twice, ask the other twice, if you need to be left the fuck alone, leave the other the fuck alone. So, everyone in the synchro phase should show what they want they want done to themselves. The other should record these events. In the Processing phase: the partners in the relationship shud start doing what the other did in the synchronization phase in a similar situation. The result will be perfect bliss! Hence proved!

 The synchro phase can be used to unveil tastes, desires, weaknesses, turn ons, unacceptable actions, etc etc. The more ground covered, I hope the happier and smoother and more honest the relationship. In the processing phase, each one blends to the recordings of the other in the synchro phase.

Duration of synchronization phase(friends): Synchronization phases of various lengths may be required for different pairs of people. Suggested durations, for friends, synchronize till you buy each other presents. (note: people who wanna be friends and not lovers, and buy you gifts within the first month of knowing you are CREEPS)

Duration of synchronization phase(lovers): Until the first time you sleep together. Well, if you are the variety who sleep with each other within 20 mins of meeting each other, please synchronize till ur first time one-month anniversary at least (Yes, yes, the Bandy et al "First Understanding, Common Knowledge (FUCK) Synchronization Algo" works for SLUTS too.  And yeah, if you are the variety who must refrain from sex before marriage blah blah, this might keep you synchronizing for ever, so synchronize till ur first kiss! If even that is gonna happen after ages, then keep synchronizing, God knows you'll need it! Bandy et al do not guarantee algorithm for people who kiss only after marriage!

Claimer: I am writing my thesis, and this is what one month of writing a thesis on clock synchronization and data fusion in  Wireless Sensor Networks has done to me. help! help! help! The sequel to this will be the intro to my Thesis stating how human beings are the best wireless sensor nodes. (provided my boss allows it!)

So imagine a world where we are all perfect. We are so perfect that every person of the opposite sex (or same depending on preference, lets assume opposite ...) would be able to appreciate both physical and spiritual beauty of each other, making every two people of the opposite sex (with a few exceptions) intensely mentally and sexually attracted to each other. Now would this be a beautiful scenario or a catastrophe? I wonder. We'd definitely be nicer people. Would hopefully hate less people, coz even when someone wrongs us, their beauty might outshine the wronging. But then again, in a world where people struggle to remain faithful to their partners, would being attracted to eveyone just make that concept collapse? or would monogamy not even exist in this case? I dont really know how "Laws of attraction" work in the animal kingdom. enlighten me! I do know that there is a sense of pairing amongst some creatures even after copulating. So, would this perfection make us more of animals? So is being human the art of being "Less than perfect"!

Coz loving only one person and being sexually attracted to one person is professed to be holy. Ref "Oh honey, I love you and dont feel like touching anyone else" -- most couples to one another. But is that an insult to everyone else and a procalamation that everyone else is ugly (or atleast not good enuff). If we were perfect and saw every bit of beauty in each other would exclusive "love" survive or would everyone just be sleeping with and loving each other.

 
Enuff babbliographical questions ... Will hit this up later. But seems like .. Thank God, we are less than perfect, fickle, choosy, hypocritical, mean, differentiating, racist ...... it makes the world go round and round!

A little background about me. My kind of movies are Memento, Adaptation, Usual Suspects you get the picture. I DON’T like hindi movies. I have probably enjoyed only a handful of movies including DDLJ, Dil Chahta hain, and Teen Deeware. That’s about it. So when I am left on the couch I invest 3 hours of my life watching something that makes my head hurt but I can’t stop.

The one that made me cry was Rudrakshas. Sunil Shetty and Sanjay Dutt were flying in the movie, fighting with swords, defying gravity. I hated it, but guess what? I watched every minute. In addition to the movies that are sci-fi but claimed to be normal life in hindi movies, is the advent of Indian Soft Porn. Hindi movies have advanced. The top actors are involved in rather passionate kissing scenes. No longer is the kiss hidden from the audience taking advantage of the heroine’s long hair masking their lips. However with this advancement, the lesser actors must participate in more provocative movies and scenes from the same.

Now the regular porn industry comprises several variations to cater to the wide receiver base:

Single X: Usually passionate love scenes, with some glimpses of breasts, usually very sexy

Double X: Usually have plots such as a man hiring a private investigator to spy on his wife, and the private investigator spies on her and ends up in bed with her, (real “private” investigator, I guess) and in the end the man is back with is wife and her affair has brought back the lost zeal in the love making. Very “happy ending” The audience is blessed with tons and tons of heated scenes and lots and lots of focus on very shapely breasts. Double the breasts, double the fun!

Triple X: Now triple X’s don’t really have a story. Clothes vanish before you can blink your eyes, and the rest is more like watching a lathe machine move back and forth. Sometimes there are tons of lathe machines. Once in a while when there is a plot it usually is a young girl interviewing for a secretary job, and proving that she can “do” the “job” well.

The new hindi movies are Single X’s (without the glimpses) in implementation and Triple X’s in spirit. The girls are bending over without reason, wearing skirts that are shorter than my boxers, the camera focuses harder on key areas than in 2Xs and very young girls are having lots and lots of sex with men of varying ages. I wonder what motivates these rather pretty women to jump on these roles.

Well the bottom line is that I am inextricably hooked to movies with horrible action scenes, horrible acting, and horrible exposure. The biggest science fiction movie was this movie called Tango Charlie! It was hardly as irritating as the others so why science fiction? What is a science fiction? A movie that contains feats that defy present day science. Well, it was a war movie, well made, but then the actor (Bobby Deol) came back from the war front for a day to meet his girlfriend (for one day I repeat), he din’t even touch her, instead he was writing in his journal! That my friends is science fiction! A man who hasn’t been with is woman in years, comes back for one day, and writes in his diary all day? If my girl were here you think I would be writing for you guys, hell no, hell no .. check my India post and see how the last 20 days are unreported ..... thats what Fact is like, Hindi movies: Fiction, fiction, fiction, I scream ………………………..

Even as I write this I am watching some movie where some actor is kissing a mannequin to make his to-be girl jealous. Somebody help me, Koi Hain? Koi hain?

Fact #1: Christians believe in Jesus Christ. Okay, you knew that right?

Fact #2:  Some Christians believe that Jesus Christ will be born again.

Fact #3:  I think this is a fact but please correct me if I am wrong coz I dont think I am gonna read the Bible to figure this out. There is no record in the Bible stating that Jesus said that he will  be born again.

Fact  #4: In the bible at the time when Jesus was merging in the supreme principle of divinity, he communicated some news to his followers. The statement was "He who sent me among you, will come again," and pointed to the lamb. "His name will be the TRUTH. He will be dressed in a robe of red, a blood red robe. He will be short, with crown"

I dont know if these are the actual words stated in the bible. These have however been dissected by several people trying to make sense of them and my Sai Baba's devotees and I hear that he has made the claims personally once on Christmas, 1972.

The claims seem to be,

Sai Baba's name is SATHYA SAI BABA: Sathya means the truth.

Ba-Ba is the voice of the lamb.

Sai Baba wears a blood-red (orange) robe.

Sai Baba is short, with a crown of hair.

Therefore he is the father whom Jesus was referring to.

Interpretations are always based on what you want to believe. I find the Ba-Ba lamb thing quite a stretch. The others seem spine chillingly amazing. It almost sounds like it's true. Or if false, that someone tried to fabricate it from the very start! A bit too much of a coincidence. The options that crop up seem to be extremes too. I don't really ponder on subjects of this nature at all, but if you find this more than a co-incidence it almost seems that either God, Jesus, and Sai Baba being his father are all true -- a rather big stretch,  or whoever exalted Sai Baba to his current state was fashioning him with the Bible in mind from the very onset -- a rather big stretch to assume that if his powers werent true and he was a phony, instead of conforming to Indian prophecies, he would try to trap the Christian world.

I stumbled upon some other prophecies from both the Hindu world, and the Muslim world that are equally spine chilling and thought provoking. You can check em out at http://www.saibaba.ws/avatar/propheciesabout.htm

I personally don't know what to make of all this. All I care about is that Miku who was in turmoil with the way our lives were, got more peace than I have ever seen anyone achieve from her belief in him, and I thank him for that. I actually showed some interest in it coz I have heard lot of people shower me with their beliefs, and seen much more on TV. I am tired of hearing that I am going to hell because I am not Christian and not Muslim. I prefer to believe I will go to hell coz I am not a good person. However, he is the one preacher I have seen who acknowleges every religion, muslim, chirstians, buddhists, sikhs, everyone of em saying that their deeds will take every good person to heaven. All over his ashram are signs to the effect "Rather than pray to me go and help someone." I find both these views worshippable!

As for more than co-incidence,  our trip to Bangalore cost us Rs 27000 in airfare. The day after we bought tickets Miku received a check from some savings fund accumulation of years for Rs 27, 432. But again, thats just a coincidence right?