The Threshold of Coolidity

The invention of the word "FOB," The acronym for  Fresh of the Boat, probably one of the most unintelligent moments in the history of nomenaclature, neither sweet, derogatory or mean .... just fucking bland. Anyways, the world of followers have embraced this word with eyes wide shut, legs wide spread and bent over backwards ... and more so the non FOBs ...
So, the word is a slang for people new to the country (usually America) who dont know how to gel, have weird accents, etc, etc. The cool wave however  puts huge amounts of pressure on FOBs to work they're way out of "FOBidity" and for the abcd's to be not mistaken as FOBs .....  I hadnt ever heard this word used in the same sentence as my name , and then recently it popped up in a wayward reference that shall not be cited. I now coin  the word "FOBia: - The fear of being a FOB, the fear of being mistaken  for a FOB, and the fear of FOBs becoming cooler than non-FOBs". Btw, I also claim "FOBidity" . Its weird how the word play fits right in, given the word screams fear. The fear of being a FOB doesnt touch me coz I am glad to be called one, better than BBCD (British Born Confused Desi), I am no longer fresh of the boat, though I'd love to be a sailor with someone waiting for me, and drink beer all day as I cuss on board, but I pronounce myself a FOB, and whoever doesnt like fobs can kiss my FOBBY bottom. (DC area humor - ha ha he he) 
Non-FOBs in their relentless war to not be mistaken for FOBs dread the day they meet someone who belongs to an uncool stereotype but happens to look down on them coz  the more they try to edge away from being FOBs, the more they become like them. So, I raise my glass to FOBs, be who you are and make discriminating non-FOBS ( not the cool non-FOBS) piss their pants in their FOBia of you ..... hallowed be thy name!


Since, i am filing a patent, to reduce the work and since this blog is all bout being cool, I claim the word "Coolidity", the EPITOME OF COOLNESS ...  The threshold of Coolidity (Anu gets credit for the threshold part, for her patent on the the threshold of simultaineity) is a high bar and in my opinion only Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam),  Hyde ( 70's Show) have crossed it. I obviously lurk really close to it, but cant jump over since sometimes when I show that i dont give a damn, i actually do. Not Zen Enough .. Will get there ....  soon ....