The Threshold of Coolidity

Well sometimes you just don’t get to document things that are really important to you, just becoz they are too important. Before it materializes all energy is expended in making it happen, and afterwards once the goal is achieved you just lay back and smoke a cigarette…..

To start off, I personally believe closure is the single most important thing in several situations. I believe it extends to relationships, personal strives, and personal goals. Without closure an open thought or desire festers in my mind, eating me up inside and every minute of every waking hour I voluntarily or involuntarily spend seeking closure or removing the need for closure. And if closure must happen, it has to be on my terms, and nothing else will do. (anyways more ramblings on closure for a later day …)

Newsflash I: Ayan, Antardhwani’s lead singer had to move away to Phoenix in pursuit of a career. The news hit me like a slap in the face. First of all Ayan had an amazing voice. Anyone who ever heard him live or in a recording would agree that there was a semi-professional touch to it. Now, my band Antardhwani is a predominantly hindi based band, which means that even if the instruments have a field day and play music unheard and unparalleled but the vocals aren’t up to the mark, all is lost. Indian music is judged at first glance by the vocals, then the lyrics and music, then back to the vocals. Though the news was crippling, we knew that Sowmya was around, and given that I sing the originals we din’t have to run around screaming coz we knew we could pull off a 1 hour show with some revamping.

Newsflash II: And then it happened! Sowmya announced that she is taking up an offer for a job in Atlanta. Ladies and Gentleman: we have just lost cabin pressure! When Pauli and moi met up to discuss the situation at hand (actually not in hand) it din’t feel like two rather powerful conspirators meeting up, sounded more like two kids had been beaten up by a bully! We din’t really come up with any bright ideas, more on the lines of how good a run it had been, how unfair it was and how we din’t have any closure on the issue coz the last time we performed it seemed like we had gotten much better and there was tons more to come. I can’t tell you how unfair it is for a band member to not know that the last show was his/her last! Pauli ended the conversation saying something which we din’t realize the importance of at that time: but mostly to the effect of him having put in a lot of effort into the band, and if a gig came our way we’d think about ways to revive the band, if not, it might be time to call it a day! It made a lot of sense to me, since I know how much effort he had put in to co-ordinate stuff in the nascent period and how tough things were even when everything was going fine, so it seemed fine to me that we would think of revamping the band if a gig came our way, if not we'd call it a day, month, year, a dream!

Credits: The losing cabin pressure line is from the cool-ass background commentary from Fight Club